Live Without Sin and Glorify God

In Romans, Paul tells us we don’t have to do what sin tells us to do. When we believe and put our trust in the Lord, we come to Christ on a spiritual level.

“Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with hi by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” (Romans 6:3-4)

The chains of sin no longer affect us. Paul continues, “For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be untied with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin.” (Romans 6:5-7)

Through this, we experience a spiritual death and resurrection that parallels Jesus’ death and resurrection. We have conquered sin, in a way, as Jesus conquered death. His resurrection is our saving grace. Our redeeming power over sin. Although we still might hav a desire to sin, we must turn ourselves to Christ so that we honor and glorify God.

“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, or make you obey its passions. Do not present your members t sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” (Romans 6:12-14)

God is to be glorified and loved above all things. Jesus tells his disciples this as he sends them out to do his work, if we follow Jesus we have already won power over sin. In Matthew, Chapter 10, he gives them instructions on what to do and also gives them a warning, that there would be some skepticism and resistance.

As Jesus says in verse 38, “And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” We must bear all of our worries, doubts and fears to offer to Jesus and he will lift us up and forgive our transgressions so to live a life of everlasting love with Jesus.

By giving honor to the Maker and turning to Jesus when we stumble and fall, when we sin, we are glorfying his name and giving victory over those sinful ways.

Happy Father’s Day

Today is Father’s Day. Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there, including step-fathers or any type of father figure. Today we hoor you. In the same way mothers were honored last month. It is also the same as we honor our heavenly father, just as Jesus did.

Today’s verse comes from one of the Ten Commandments given in Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God giving you.” This is the fifth commandment, with all of them listed in the book of Exodus, chapter 20. The commandments are simply not just a bunch of words given to Moses on stone tablets. The commandments are one of many covenants God had with his people, the Israelites. They were a list of rules of how God wanted his people to act.

In the fifth commandment, God was asking the children (mostly the adult children) to look out for their parents, provide for them in their older age when they may be incapable of providing for themselves.

Today, we use it for all children to respect and love their parents, and still provide for them as they get older.

With today being Father’s Day, we are reminded of that simple truth. We must come back to that truth in order to follow God’s commandments and honor those that brought us into this world. And even those who have helped form us and shape us through our own growing through the years.

I know there every father may not be the strongest role model or the best father, but I’m sure they try in their own way. There have been times of disconnect with my own father through the years, but he is still my father and love him and do the best I can.

Good fathers share positive upbringing to his children. That goes for mothers as well. But in Ephesians 6:4, it says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” As I said earlier, the commandments were given as a guide of how God wanted his people to act. So this verse from Ephesians reminds us that we also must give reverence to our heavenly father, the Creator of all things, as it says in Matthew 10:37, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

This simply follows God’s commandments. Giving reverence to those who raised us and supported us, even to those who helped form us and teach us, is important. But so is honoring the Father in heaven. It is the first commandment, “You shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3) It is a name above any other name. And all glory and honor is for him.

So today, let’s not forget our fathers, our parents, and those other parental figures in our lives. And let us not forget our Father in heaven. Here is a prayer to help with that. “Father, please show me how I can honor my parents – even if our relationship is difficult. I also than you for the special mentors ad parental figures you’ve give me. Amen.”

Love and Be Blessed

Many times in our lives we may not feel blessed. Or we may not feel like we’re worthy of God’s love and blessings. We may go so far as to think, at times, that we don’t deserve His love and blessings.

In John 8, it begins with the scribes and the Pharisees who brought to Jesus, a woman who committed adultry. When he told those present that anyone without sin be the first to cast a stone upon her. No one did. And eventually, all of them went away. This represents God’s mercy and love. You can never be too far gone that you will not be able to receive God’s love.
This brings me to today’s verse.

Today’s verse I would like to share with you comes from Deuteronomy 30:16. It says, “For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.”

It seems you are never too far gone. No one is ever very far away from the Lord. That’s what this verse says. We are all special children of God. We are blessed. If we obey what He has set out for us and follow in His ways, we are blessed. The first verse of Psalm 112 says, “Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in is commandments.”

There will be hardships and difficult times that we endure. But God is there. We may not fully understand the situations at the time, but know that He is there. Having faith is trusting in God. Hebrews 11:6 says, “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

As I said last week, to be a light for others. When you are blessed, you can go forth and share that blessing with others. You can be a blessing to them.

God wants nothing more than to love us. We are His children. We are His flock, Jesus is our shepherd. Set your hearts and mind to honor Him and keep His commandments, just as He told Abraham in Genesis 12:2, “And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.”

Here is a little prayer to ask God to help you love and be blessed: “God, please teach me how love and obedience work toether. Please help me to love You through obedience. And please help me to obey You out of Love. Amen.”

Be a light, make the world shine with light

Today I want to share with you a scripture passage that has as much meaning today as in any day. The scripture comes from Matthew 5:14 and reads as follows: “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.”

With all that is going on in the world, with its current state of affairs – and really for the last several years – some of humanity has lost its way it seems. We can all act too quickly to blame others or see fault in people, but cannot see our own shortcomings. Not everyone is like this, but it appears there are people that have this mentality, or thought.

In Matthew Chapter 7, Jesus says, “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.”

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” I think today’s passage (Matthew Chapter 5) reflects those words, and it is what we should all be asking ourselves. “Can I be a light the world needs?” It is possible that many don’t turn that light on for fear of ridicule or prosecution. Perhaps if we took a step, be bold (like Jesus), and let the light shine for others to see and not be like that town that is hidden, then it might give others the courage and strength to be bold as well and let more light shine upon this world.

It can be difficult I know. I struggle with this myself at times. But it is in God’s word that gives us hope, strength and courage. It is my hope that you can see that and accept His word to be a light unto this world. There are three simple ways to effectively allow God’s light to emanate through us: 1) Be an effective witness; 2) Serve others; 3) Fellowship with Christians.

Here is a simple prayer to ask for help in being that light: “Father, please teach me how to represent Jesus well in the world. Please help me to follow His ways and not my own. Please let me reflect Jesus into this broken and dark world. Amen.”

May we all be encouraged to shed light unto this world, just as Jesus did, so that we may become a united people and close the divide between us.

Long absence, much to process

So I made a post nearly a year and a half ago. After having moments of posting lapses (I post some, then I don’t, post some, then I don’t) a lot has happened during that time. I have been here in the state of Texas for more than two years, after moving in April 2018 from Missouri. It was a long year in 2019, and now here we are in 2020.

Recently, much has transpired in the past few months. I began to take another look at my life, and although I enjoy it and feel blessed for where I am now, (still the sports editor for the Moore County News-Press, a position which I have held since October 2018), I felt there was something missing.

I’ve wanted to get back to writing and creating blogs (even though I was writing nearly every day for the newspaper). I have had a shift in my creative desires. Especially since all this global pandemic has been going on.

A quick note on that is I’ve been well. I still kept my job, even though there hasn’t been any local sports to report on. I’ve been trying to keep busy and doing what I can to fill my sports pages with information.

Anyhoo, the something I have been missing was on my spiritual side. I was attending church and trying to be active there, but since the beginning of the shutdown back in March I have contemplated something else. I think it was brewing before the lockdown and just came to fruition since I had a little more time on my hands.

And now, more recent events have prompted me to pursue this even more.

In the beginning of March, I started connecting with a friend that I have known for a while. She shared a lot with me and the first weekend in March when I was visiting my hometown, we spent a lot of time together – and long story short – we became a couple. The last two plus months were amazing, but unfortunately it ended as quickly as it began.

Prior to this, I was contemplating a revamp on my blog, while getting back to my spiritual side. I have since moved on from my previous religion (something that I have known my entire life) and have been gravitating towards another. I am stil retaining my Christian faith, but on a slightly different path.

I decided I want to share that in my blog. Beginning this Sunday, June 7, I intend to do a weekly post, at least, and share some thoughts, encouraging words, and/or scripture through my blog posts. Especially in these trying times. And although, some things are beginning to open back up and return somewhat to normal, it all is still not quite there. Additionally, I will also attempt to revamp my YouTube channel and might post on there a little more frequently sharing some of the same things and other positive content.

I have been preparing myself and putting things in place to get this new chapter going, and I think I’m ready to go.

I hope everyone is well and stays focused on the positive so we can all get through this together.

Changes: moving, new opportunities, new challenges

Here it is – another year about to end. It is about two hours away from where I am until the new year comes. Most people are with families and friends. For many, the new year is a time for new beginnings….new hopes….new dreams….a new outlook on things. In any case, it can also be a time to look back and reflect. Thinking about what has transpired over the last year and what might be look forward to in 2019.

Although, before I go further I will say that some of the content for this post is from an earlier post from a few years ago. I thought it was relevant to this one as well. I mean, after all, a new year is almost upon us.

Resolutions are made by many for the new year. I failed to do so this year at this point. But I might make some right before the clock strikes 12 a.m. My resolutions never seem to stick so I found it unnecessary to resign to make resolutions that I may or may not keep. I wrote in 2014 that I was going to strive to make small attainable goals throughout the year so my goals and needs will be easier to hopefully obtain. I’m not sure if I achieved all I set out to do, but I will try that for this new year.

For almost nine months, I have lived in a new place. I made a big move that I thought I wouldn’t make. I am adjusting and enjoying my new life. I also started a new job in October as a sports editor for the county newspaper. It’s been challenging, fun, and exciting. All in all it has been enjoyable. Of course, it has its ups and downs like any job I suppose, but I am happy and living well.

It’s funny. In 2014 when I wrote this new year’s post, I was working in print media. Now I am working in it again. I feel it is a better job than what I had four years ago.

At any rate, I am pleased with my current situation and happy that I made the decision to move. It was a little touch and go a few months down here in Texas, but I prayed and persevered. Now I am in a good place.

I haven’t kept up with my blog like I was going to. Perhaps this new year will prove otherwise. If I can take my own advice and set small, attainable goals, I can hopefully reach those goals. I think that is good advice for anything. And anyone.

Theater educator brings faith, scripture to acting in book

Setting the stage for this post is rather simple. I was beginning my second year of graduate school at, what it was called at the time, Central Missouri State University, in Warrensburg, MO. Along came a new instructor for the theater department….

BACKGROUND…
John Wilson has been an instructor of theater at the University of Central Missouri (formerly known as Central Missouri State University) in Warrensburg, MO, for nearly 20 years.
He began in the fall of 2000, and in 2015 he became chair of what has now expanded to become the Department of Theatre and Dance at the university.
Before coming to the “little ‘ol town of the ‘Burg,” Wilson was an adjunct instructor at Colorado Christian University from 1997-1998. He directed two shows, Romeo and Juliet and Much Ado About Nothing, while teaching a few classes. “I taught a playwriting class, motivational drama – which studied a lot of motivational speeches in all genres of dramatic literature – and I taught a movement class.” he said.
He did this all while he was still working in a grocery story. “I was just starting to get experience where I could,” Wilson said. “But I was also professionally auditioning and got my equity card through the regional premiere of ‘Visiting Mr. Green‘ by Jeff Barron.”
He earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts in performance from Arizona State University in 1990. In the early 90s, he attended the National Theatre Conservatory in Colorado, obtaining a Master of Fine Arts in performance in 1993.
The purpose of this post, really, is to highlight Wilson’s book. You see, a few years ago he published his first book that took several years to create the idea, formulate that idea, and time to write the book – The Actor As Fire and Cloud.

THE GERMINATION OF AN IDEA…
In all his years as an educator and theater artist, Wilson was contemplating an idea. This idea was bringing Christian values and faith to the secular life. “It really happened ever since the enlightenment,” he began. “We get this idea you can have your sacred life and then there’s your public life. You can believe whatever you want, just keep it out of my business. Then this growing, silent agreement for the past 300 years that we don’t bring that sacred into certain professions and into certain work places.”
So the idea began forming more than 10 years ago, since about 2005-2006. He said it started as conversation pieces for trips and things with his wife, Jill, but then didn’t really get around to it until 2013. “So in 2013 I would have been in my 14th year of teaching,” Wilson said. “I could look back and realize I got a number of believing students come through the program and ask me all sorts of questions – ‘As a Christian, how do you feel about swear words?’ ‘As a Christian, how do you feel about sex as a topic in a scene?’ There’s a chapter where I kind of cover that. And it came from all those questions that I was fielding for quite a long time from students.”
Therefore, he contemplated further. His thinking – “I am a Christian, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.” He thought God has given him gifts and talents, so there must be a way to bring these things together, faith and craft. “I think God purposes us and equips us to do everything that we do. So part of it was looking for connections,” he said. “Being able to go into God’s word and try and find connecting dots and ligaments that help me make connections between faith and acting.”

Businessman looking at faith door

But there was also another connection that had to do with his wife. Through their previous conversations, there was a time when Jill was in graduate school and her professors were having difficulty finding any kind of a textbook that dealt with those two items. “It just didn’t exist. They would be like read this book that’s kind of about this and then just try and translate it the best that you can. Or maybe read this article or what have you,” he said.
Then the real thought process and imagination spurred about writing this type of book about acting. He realized there wasn’t really anything on the market, so through conversations with his wife more ideas and thoughts stirred. Wilson said his wife was really the inspiration for the idea. “We bounced a lot of ideas off of each other,” he said. “I started writing when I was on sabbatical. I got through a show and some commercial work and then it was spring break in the educational calendar and I was like ‘I’m off until August.'”

IN THE BEGINNING…
So he set out to start writing. However, he has never written a book before. The process is somewhat similar to writing a thesis or other educational piece of writing. But with a book, it’s a little more grander in scale as far as content. “I think the writing process is similar. It’s just a matter of volume,” he said. “How much you’re writing when you write a book as opposed to a thesis or a paper. I felt the process was similar to how I would go about writing anything academic. I just needed to be really well organized about it. I needed to collect a lot of my resources. But I don’t think my approach was necessarily different than any other academic writing I’ve done. There’s just so much more to do.”

09-10-17-daring-faith-six-phases-god-uses-to-grow-your-faith

The idea for writing a book like this needed to actually be in the book. So eventually that material became the first chapter, he said. He set out to work and there would be short days of about eight hours, and his long days would be about 12 hours. He would explore the Bible and then work on a draft, completing a chapter, and then a lot of “prayerful consideration” and other reading as to what the next chapter would be.
“I wrote the majority of it in six weeks,” Wilson said. “And then I spent two years going back and revising, editing and fine tuning and expanding and adding. And it felt really inspired, like it poured out of me. That’s a lot of material to write in six weeks. I was easily done before the spring semester was over. I started in March and was done before commencement.”
As any writer could probably tell you, it’s a process.
But then the more difficult part came in the writing project, editing. Editing is also a process. And as they say writers don’t write, they rewrite. It’s true in a sense. “I had to go back and think about structure and vocabulary and train of thought,” he said. “I worked with one of Jill’s friends, whom I never met.”
Miranda Dunning was attending the same school his wife, Jill, was attending. She was in the MFA program for performance. Dunning was also a lawyer, according to Wilson. She does a lot with law but is also an editor. So Wilson asked her to come on board because she had writing skills and was an MFA actor. So it was a “great, phenomenal, serendipitous opportunity” to send the manuscript to her.
He said they only had phone and email correspondence through the editing process. But it still worked for them. He felt he had something with her when, regardless of any grammatical errors, etc., she would write back and say “conceptually this chapter is kind of blowing my mind.” Sometimes she would say, on the concept level, “I get what you’re saying but I think you could make it clearer,” he said. “So she would be really honest and challenge me.”
He not only brought scripture and faith into this book, he also intertwined his own experiences or Jill’s experience into it as well. Additionally, he included different plays he read. “I kind of felt like my career as an actor and educator just kind of prepared me for this moment,” Wilson said. “I could have been inspired to write this book in 2000. And I would have no clue what the heck I would be writing about. In fact, I think that’s why it took me so long. I think I wrote it at the right time. I don’t think I was the actor or educator or the Christian back in 2005 or 2006 to write this book.”

THE FINAL STEP…
The final step was to get a publisher. That, for Wilson, also became somewhat of an obstacle. He contemplated self-publishing or going the traditional route. He said if self-publishing would have been more affordable at the time, he would have done that just to get the book out there and complete the project. And by a year or so later, there just didn’t seem to be anyone interested in the book.
Finally, after some thoughtful prayer and consideration, an answer emerged. “I happened to come across a Christian writing conference at Wheaton College, outside of Chicago,” Wilson said. “I thought I got to do this. I got to meet people who know what they’re doing. I need to network. I need to figure this out. I hadn’t spent a lot of money at this point, so I went. I made an investment. That was the game changer.”
He was able to meet several writers and the conference was being hosted by publishers. He signed up for two half-hour pitch sessions. One session was with Bold Vision Books, not quite as big as the other one, but still a good one. “They were both really interested,” he said. “But Bold Vision, at the time, wanted to start developing a new brand and that would focus on the arts. They would do art, music and include theater and they started with this book to launch this new brand,” he said. “I didn’t hear back from them until September or October of 2014. And then we spend another several months editing and then it came out in April or May 2015. Almost two years to the month that I had finished the first draft.”
He was happy and pleased the project was complete. He had much support from his wife and others, but the most important help came from somewhere else. “It was all the Lord,” he began. “I don’t even know where I even started. What I even Googled out of my desperation. But when I found Christian writing conferences, I thought that’s the answer.” With that, he knew that was it. All of the time in prayer and peaceful thought resulted in this discovery. “I felt like once I committed to doing something, then I think the Lord really brought me to it. It made perfect sense. Obviously I found the right one,” Wilson said.

FINAL THOUGHTS…
His final thoughts on the project still remain with God. It was such an important part of this whole process for him. “No matter the subject. When your main resource is the bible, then you’re in it every day,” he said. “I found that to be all I needed.”
He spent considerable time in the Bible to connect faith and craft because faith is connected to God’s word. “God was really telling me something in whatever passage or chapter I was reading. Like that was really a tough psalm, or that was a Proverb that pierces.”
Of course, he said there were also some favorite authors, apologists, and theologians he would read to become inspired through the process.
What’s next for Wilson? Of course he’ll continue being an educator.
As for writing… well he might look to another type of challenge.
“I’m still inspired by playwrights today. Probably the next thing I’ll write is a play,” he said.

Leaner-challenges
There’s also an option of creating a second edition from his notes if that opportunity presents itself. “But playwriting and screenwriting are phenomenally more difficult than a book. Coming up with the plot, character, and story is difficult and to me, that’s the next great challenge.”

Relationship Lost

On Tuesday, Sept. 5, 2017, I ended the first (and longest) relationship I have had. I’ve had friends get married, divorce, remarry, and so on. I’ve seen and heard of friends, family, and other people stay together for 10, 20, 30 or more years. So in light of my recent divorce, I thought I would share some thoughts about my relationship, and relationships in general.
I will start with a little bit of background.
Honestly, I have only had a few dates in college and some after, but it never really went anywhere beyond a first date (don’t ask me why).
Several years ago, (a little over 15 years) I moved back to Marshall from Warrensburg, where I went to finish college after transferring from State Fair Community College in Sedalia. I had jobs here and there and then began working at the Habilitation Center here in Marshall, and worked there for six and half years. During the course of my employment, I began a “relationship” with a coworker and only lasted a couple of months or so. We went out a few times. We spent some time together. Then all of sudden she just stopped talking to me. When we were together, the communication wasn’t there anymore. I don’t know what happened. Then, one night we made plans for me to come over to her place and spend some time together. I went and no one was home. Come to find out she went out with some other friends without saying a word to me, and she didn’t even invite me after I found out. So apparently that was that.
A couple of years later I begin another “relationship” at the Hab Center. That lasted just a few weeks. We spent some time together and enjoyed each other’s company, but didn’t want to rush into anything “serious.” So it was casual. We didn’t want to “label” it. But, apparently at one point we discovered that we just weren’t in the same “place.” We went our separate ways and that was that.
I came to the conclusion that relationships at the Hab Center just didn’t work out.
At least for me.
However, a couple of years later (end of summer 2009), I added a friend on my Facebook. I knew her in high school. We had a few classes together over the years and graduated together. As we commented and made posts on each other’s page, I found out she worked at the Hab Center (and has been there for quite some time). She worked in a different unit than I, but we carried on getting to know each other again and sharing high school experiences and memories.
After her divorce, we decided to step up our relationship, and that I would move in with her and her three children from previous marriages. Shortly after, we were talking about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together. So, one day I finally popped the question. We were married about a year and a half later. At this point, I was her third marriage and this was my first. We started off pretty good by spending time together, talking, doing family things with the children, vacations, and so on. She was telling me how much she loved me and posting messages and little “lovey-dovey” memes to my Facebook page. It was all good.
Then nearly two years into the marriage, our communication broke down, she didn’t seem that into me (although she did tell me from time to time she still loved me), we didn’t do a lot things together anymore, and she excluded from things. She spent more and more time away from me. So I got to a point where I didn’t know how to talk to her anymore. The more time she spent away from me, the more I spent time away from her. And the distance grew. At least for me.
This went on for a while, and I was going back and forth if I should leave or stay. Ultimately, I decided to leave. I thought the only way I could do this is if I just did it quick like a band-aid. I know I probably could have handled it differently (and should have), but at the time that’s all I could do. It was causing me stress and I had to look out for me too.

Print

Bottom line was I think we were just too different. So I guess my relationships, which began at the Hab Center, didn’t work out for me.
I knew those differences we had going in, and I could get past them at first. But when the distance between us grew for me, those differences seemed to get amplified and I just could not go on. She apparently still wanted this relationship and still seemed to love me, but her actions were not telling me that. So I moved out.

When+and+Why+Relationships+EndSince I have left, I found myself again. I think the marriage (especially the last couple of years or so) really boxed me in. I became withdrawn in myself. With the help of some coworkers from my last job, I broke free from the shell I was in and became more myself. I could tell a difference a few weeks after I moved out. And there is a huge difference in the way I feel now as opposed to the way I felt then.
After taking time contemplating divorce, I finally filed and received the judgement of divorce. I want her to be happy. I just don’t think I could do that anymore and still be able to be truly happy myself.
And I don’t want to sound like I’m jealous or upset, (maybe a little frustrated), but if it weren’t for the fact that all the things she was doing with me when we were first together, she is doing with him. Posting pictures, etc. on Facebook, giving him compliments, and so on and so on. Maybe if she still seemed that interested in me, we might still be together. But who knows.
I just want to say I’m happy for her. If she is truly happy, and has moved on, that is great. More power to her. I moved on too, a few months after I moved out.
In writing this, I also wanted to explore a little about what makes a good marriage. Or what are the essential “ingredients” for a happy, healthy marriage. You might hear advice from many people and so-called experts, but it is just sifting through everything and applying what you can to your situation or marriage.
The following information is from an article by Jeffrey Drew, Sonya Britt, and Sandra Huston in “Examining the Relationship Between Financial Issues and Divorce.”

6 Keys to a Good Marriage
Worship and Pray together

  • To begin with, this was a big difference. She was Wiccan and I am Catholic. A lot of people asked how that would work. Well it seemed fine at first. We didn’t impose each other’s religion on one another, so it seemed to work. I think it became more like a “what’s hers is hers and mine is mine” type of thing. (Which I also think became one of the big problems in the marriage). We didn’t really grow spiritually or have a strong faith foundation upon which to share.

Communicate

  • As I said, communication began to falter. The more she stopped really communicating with me and excluding me from things, the more I distanced myself from her. As the distance grew, the less I felt a part of the marriage.

Leave and Cleave

  • This has to do with establishing your own home as a married couple, but not forgetting your parents. I think, on the whole, we did that. We still visited or did things with her mom because she lives in Marshall. My parents live in Texas. We still visited them in the summer a couple of times, and all in all, we remained close with them. But our home seemed to be more HER home. I emphasize her because it seemed like she would make all the decisions for the family and it didn’t seem like my input was valuable or necessarily needed.

Date Your Spouse

  • This is something we did kind of frequently early on in the relationship, but then nearly two years into the marriage we sort of stopped. And the few times we did go out together, there was a silence between us. At least I felt it. And if she was fine with not spending time together, not doing things together, not really communicating, then that’s on her. But that’s not how I view a happy, healthy marriage. And like I said, I didn’t really know how to talk to her anymore about these issues, so they were never discussed.

Budget

  • This was a big issue. And it really became an even bigger issue as time went on. I go back to the “what’s hers is hers and mine is mine” mentality. That’s how she wanted to view our money and finances. I was fine with this at first. But towards that midway point again it really started to become an issue with me. I tried to talk to her about creating a budget and going through our expenses, but she didn’t seem to want to talk about it so I left it alone again. She still wanted to do these fun things with her kids like go to concerts, or spending what seemed like hundreds of dollars on the kids every Christmas and every birthday, and such, and then complain about not having any money. But again, I left it alone because I didn’t feel I could talk to her about the issue.

Compliment

  • She used to do this in the beginning for me. I would return the gesture. But like everything else, she stopped doing it or didn’t do it as much. Sometimes it appeared a little forced to me. And as the distance grew, the more I became withdrawn and unhappy so I didn’t necessarily want to compliment her, although, at times I tried.

There are other tips and advice for a successful marriage to be found. Books, articles, blogs, neighbors, family and friends are all sources in which you can get information and advice from, whether voluntarily or not. This was just a small list I found through a newsletter from a local church I thought to be appropriate and accurate in this instance.
And maybe they don’t work for everyone. And this is probably not a complete list, so don’t just think that this is all it takes. There is love and commitment, intimacy, patience and a host of other factors for a happy, successful marriage.

Divorce+Divorce+occurs+for+many+reasons,+such+as-
So that is all now. I believe I have rattled on long enough. If your marriage (relationship) is working, then kudos! Keep it up! But if it is failing on any level, and you still have somewhat good communication, talk things through to help save it if you can. But after some work, if it is still not helping the situation, then it may be time to part ways.

Liberty, Freedom, Choice

In light of some recent events, I would just like to share a few thoughts. These are just random thoughts, but they might feel more like familiar musings about the current situations in politics, sports, society, and the country. Of course, all of these categories seem to bundle together to form one long narrative.

American Flag Controversy

I’ll start with Colin Kaepernick. I’m sure everyone has heard of the latest controversy that some people and media have turned it into. His refusal to stand for the National Anthem before football games has become the topic of discussion for many. I’ve read stories and seen social media comments and posts how the quarterback despises America and is being disrespectful. According to some, he’s even being a rich, spoiled crybaby.

I understand his reasons why he is doing what he’s doing. As he has said, it’s to try to bring change to a situation that appears to have erupted over the last few years. And seemingly, that is the injustice being done towards people of color at the hands of white authority figures. It seems there has been some discussion on the matter, but mostly it is still almost hateful dialogue towards Kaepernick and his actions. I have also read, though, there are some that support what he’s doing, and some of those are even veterans.

Do I agree with what he is doing? Not necessarily. There could be other ways he could protest and try to bring about change. But I certainly do agree it is his right to do what he’s doing as provided in the Constitution. The American Flag is meant as a symbol of liberty and freedom. And if we (Americans) are to rise and honor those who have fought to provide us those freedoms, then shouldn’t we have a right to protest when some civil liberties and rights are being denied or disregarded? The way I see it (as I have mentioned this in another post) the flag represents America’s freedom. But if you also look at how we (America) arrived at that point, by basically oppressing and slaughtering the Native Americans here for nothing more than dominance, which is also what seems to be happening today – the oppression of people of color and minorities. So that red, white and blue flag that’s supposed to stand for freedom and liberty just seems hollow when we are still oppressing minorities. So, I believe until we – as a nation – can return to a civilized, caring nation where race and oppression are not relevant any longer and people can get around without being judged or oppressed, then we can all stand in honor of that Star-Spangled Banner and to those who have fought and died to give us that honor and freedom. And until then, we should be able to protest how we see fit, as long it is peaceful and not interfering with anyone or anything else, or not hurting anyone else. Let’s refrain from being judgmental and just live.

Election 2016

In a recent post, I talked about the election and political party history. We know that Trump and Clinton are in it and they will be facing off on the debate stage in a few days. Since that post, Libertarian nominee Gary Johnson is polling 15% or higher in several states and now is on the ballot in all 50 states. The National Commission on Presidential Debates has made the decision not to include the former New Mexico Governor on the first debate stage because he isn’t polling at he requisite 15% in the national polls (a number arbitrarily set by the commission).

I’ve read where some believe that voting third party is a wasted vote. That it’s meaningless. No third party has ever won. Here’s a little history: by 1860 there were four parties – Northern Democrat, Southern Democrat, Republican, and the Constitutional-Union Party. The Republican Party was considered a “third party” at the time. Republicans won their first presidency with Abraham Lincoln as the issue of slavery was at the forefront of that election.

In this election, I don’t believe there have ever been two more polarizing candidates as Trump and Clinton. As I said before, some have said they will vote for the lesser of two evils. But which on is the lesser evil? Some say it’s Clinton. Some say it’s Trump. If you ask me, voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. Some have also said voting for a third party will take votes away from Trump and allow a Clinton presidency as it did in 1992 with Ross Perot. But really, if 62% of America want to see Gary Johnson in the debates, and those that say they will vote Trump to keep Clinton out and those that will vote Clinton to keep Trump out would vote for Gary Johnson, then he might just actually win. I haven’t done the math. But it does seem plausible. I for one cannot vote Republican or Democrat in good conscience. What needs to change is the CPD and the failing two-party system. Since the end of the Civil War, the two-party system has been in power. There have been other “third parties” but they don’t get the recognition because all the attention goes to the two major parties.

The CPD was supposed to be set up to educate America on all eligible candidates to make the choices needed to secure the next presidency. In all honesty, if a candidate is on the ballot their voice should be heard on the debate stage regardless of numbers in national polls. Plain and simple. America needs another choice. This election is too important. However, if Johnson doesn’t get in then maybe after four years of Trump or Clinton, the rules will change.

Final Thought

It just seems to me what is lacking is appreciation for human and societal differences. I’ve said this time and time again. We (America) need to put a little love back in our lives. Sometimes it just seems that until someone says something is offensive or controversial, no one really notices or is aware of it. But because someone said something, then all of a sudden it’s a countrywide (or in some cases a global) offensive controversy. It looks as though the country (world) is regressing to a more tumultuous time of racial tension, oppression, and righteous judgment. Let’s love each other and get along.

Election 2016: This Year It’s Real

With the current state of affairs with the two-party system, coupled with this election year, I thought I might take a look at a brief history of the evolution of political parties in the United States.

U. S. Political Party History

The first political party formed around 1787 by Alexander Hamilton and other leaders who wanted a strong central government. They called themselves the Federalists. By 1796 some grew against the Federalists platform and a group of followers, led by Thomas Jefferson, started a party called the Democratic-Republicans. They believed in a smaller national government, while leaving the governing power to the states and local governments.

When Jefferson came to the office in 1801, the Federalists were losing power to the Democratic-Republicans. Although the Federalists hung on as a minority party for 20 years, the differing thoughts and values through the developing United States (which ultimately led to the Civil War) paved the way for new parties.

When Andrew Jackson was elected and served two terms, the party was renamed to Democrats, thus making Jackson the first Democrat president. Former Federalists joined in opposition to the Democrats and formed the National Republicans, or Whigs. The Whigs enjoyed four presidents in office – William Henry Harrison, who died while in office in 1841 (the first president to do so). John Tyler filled in and remained in office for one term. In 1845, the Whigs lost to a Democrat, James K. Polk, only to regain the office in 1849 with Zachary Taylor. However, he died in office 16 months later. Millard Fillmore became president and was out of office in 1853. Democrats took the office for the remainder of the 1850’s.

The issue of slavery rose to the forefront of the political stage leaving little room for other issues. The Whig Party began to fall apart, due in part to members leaving to form Northern Abolitionists, who wanted to abolish slavery. A new Republican Party was formed and by 1860 there were four major parties – Northern Democrat, Southern Democrat, Republican, and the Constitutional-Union Party. With slavery a strong issue, Republicans secured their first president Abraham Lincoln. States’ rights began to be an issue with slavery and in 1861 the Southern states seceded and the Civil War began.

At the conclusion of the Civil War, the two parties – Republicans and Democrats became the major political parties – took their turn with the presidency. During this time, third parties also began to appear like in 1872 a woman, Victoria Woodhull, became the first woman to run for president. She shared the Equal Rights Party ticket with African American leader Frederick Douglass. The People’s Party of the U.S.A., also known as the Populists, gained their support from the common workers and farmers. Republicans split and formed a group called the Progressive, or “Bull Moose,” Party in 1912. After the Second World War, Southern Democrats formed the States’ Rights Party in order to fight for the civil rights of African Americans. The Libertarian Party, formed in the 1970’s, was for individual rights. The 1990’s saw the rise of the Reform Party, led by Texas businessman Ross Perot. The Green Party has formed to take on the environmental movement.

The Presidents

Below is a list of the presidents with affiliation, and length of presidency:

George Washington – Federalist (1789-1797)

John Adams – Federalist (1797-1801)

Thomas Jefferson – Democratic-Republican (1801-1809)

James Madison – Democratic-Republican (1809-1817)

James Monroe – Democratic-Republican (1817-1825)

John Quincy Adams – Democratic-Republican (1825-1829)

Andrew Jackson – Democrat (1829-1837)

Martin Van Buren – Democrat

William Henry Harrison – Whig (1841)

John Tyler – Whig (1841-1845)

James K. Polk – Democrat (1845-1849)

Zachary Taylor – Whig (1849-1850)

Millard Fillmore – Whig (1850-1853)

Franklin Pierce – Democrat (1853-1857)

James Buchanan – Democrat (1957-1861)

Abraham Lincoln – Republican (1861-1865)

Andrew Johnson – Democrat-Union (1865-1869)

Ulysses S. Grant – Republican (1869-1877)

Rutherford B. Hayes – Republican (1877-1881)

James A. Garfield – Republican (1881)

Chester A. Arthur – Republican (1881-1885)

Grover Cleveland – Democrat (1885-1889)

Benjamin Harrison – Republican (1889-1893)

Grover Cleveland – Democrat (1893-1897)

William McKinley – Republican (1897-1901)

Theodore Roosevelt – Republican (1901-1909)

William Howard Taft – Republican (1909-1913)

Woodrow Wilson – Democrat (1913-1921)

Warren G. Harding – Republican (1921-1923)

Calvin Coolidge – Republican (1923-1929)

Herbert Hoover – Republican (1929-1933)

Franklin D. Roosevelt – Democrat (1933-1945)

Harry S. Truman – Democrat (1945-1953)

Dwight D. Eisenhower – Republican (1953-1961)

John F. Kennedy – Democrat (1961-1963)

Lyndon B. Johnson – Democrat (1963-1969)

Richard Nixon – Republican (1969-1974)

Gerald Ford – Republican (1974-1977)

Jimmy Carter – Democrat (1977-1981)

Ronald Reagan – Republican (1981-1989)

George Bush – Republican (1989-1993)

Bill Clinton – Democrat (1993-2001)

George W. Bush – Republican (2001-2009)

Barrack Obama – Democrat (2009-2017)

Lesser of Two Evils

Political parties in the United States have seen and wide and varied existence since the Federalists were formed in the late 18th Century. Today, this election year, the two major parties – Republican and Democrat – have given us candidates Trump and Clinton. Two seemingly polar opposites and both appear to be wrong for this country. I’ve heard people say they’ll vote for the lesser of the two evils. But which one is that?

There have been discussions where Trump is the lesser evil, but also that Clinton is the lesser evil. My opinion is that Clinton is the lesser evil of the two. But sometimes it seems hard to tell. It is difficult to see. Clouded is their future. The shroud of the dark side has fallen and clouds everything.

Okay. I digress.

Back to Trump and Clinton. It seems some, or most, of America does not approve of either candidate. That’s when they say they’ll vote for the lesser of the two evils. But again, which one is that? I guess some people don’t seem to take the time to look for other options. That’s where third and fourth parties come in. The trouble is they don’t get a lot of publicity until late. But this year, right now, there is a third party candidate on the Libertarian ticket that is making headway. Check out Gary Johnson and his running mate Bill Weld. Green Party candidate Jill Stein is supposedly still in the race, but is not getting numbers like Johnson is. So come September in the first presidential debate, there might be a third member on the stage with Trump and Clinton, something that hasn’t been done since Ross Perot in 1992.

Johnson/Weld

If you don’t like Trump or Clinton, look into the other candidates. There is plenty on them. Johnson and Weld are both former Governors and both former Republicans. Check them out. Here’s an introductory ad for Johnson/Weld:

Johnson/Weld Ad

You can listen to an interview with Johnson below:

Gary Johnson Interview

A vote for Johnson, if (and hopefully when he gets there), will not be a wasted vote. Check out their website: Johnson/Weld 2016

Let’s give America another choice. This election year is too important to just check a box in order to check a box.